Chubsy, the delightfully well rounded and unapologetically indulgent sausage dog, is a 5-year-old dachshund living the high life in the affluent part of New Jersey.

With his barrel-like physique and an appetite matched only by his zest for life, Chubsy has developed a refined taste for DoorDash delicacies. His paw-rents' credit card has been swiped more times than they care to admit, funding Chubsy’s culinary adventures while they’re out. From sushi platters to artisanal burger sliders, no dish is too luxurious for this gourmand pup.

But Chubsy isn’t all appetite—he’s also a canine of questionable intellectual pursuits. When he’s not stuffing his face, he’s stuffing his mind with YouTube conspiracy content. His tiny dachshund brain buzzes with theories about the shadowy underpinnings of the Clinton dynasty and the alleged schemes of Big Pharma.

And then there’s Ozempic—Chubsy’s personal nemesis. With a side-eye so sharp it could cut through steel, Chubsy scoffs at the idea of weight loss medication. He loudly questions its motives, often while crunching on an extra-large order of fries.

Chubsy proves that you don’t need to chase sticks when you can chase the truth—and a DoorDash driver.